1. "Hidden" tracks on CDs that are appended onto the last listed track with a long (sometimes minutes, literally) pause before the "hidden" track starts. It is usually a pretty lame song anyway. If it was so great, it would have been listed on the damn thing in the first place and played to death on the radio like any other decent song. So please, don't make me waste valuable time waiting for it. (The one exception to this rule that I can think of is "Big Yellow Taxi" off the Counting Crows' Hard Candy album) If you want to add some lame-ass song to the end of your album and call it a hidden track, just make a separate track at the end so when we rip the album to our MP3 players we can leave it off, since it blows anyway.
2. Spam (email). Seriously, if I want a mortgage I will seek one out from a reputable broker. It's bad enough to get raked over the coals legitimately. If I need Viagra, Cialis, or any other elixir to manage an erection for hours or to heighten my (or her) pleasure in any way, I will see my doctor or re-read the Kama Sutra. I mean, come on, how big a problem is ED in this world these days that we must go to illegal lengths to get the "magic pills"? It seems to be a very ineffective way to hawk a product anyway, as any internet user with the smallest clue employs a spam filter or deletes it without opening. I can't imagine much money is made this way anymore, but I could be wrong. Nevertheless, it's a boil on the collective backside of the internet.
3. Acronyms for every illness (real and "created") for which there is a drug specifically marketed. AD, ED, COPD, DVT, HBP, RLS, CDE (Chronic Dry Eye... This one is my favorite), SADD, etc. Yet another way marketing has been taken to a new level. Make a person feel special, afraid, or afflicted and you can sell them anything.
4. Spam (canned meat). If you can read a nutrition label, you know this stuff will only kill you quickly.
5. Crappy TV shows loosely based on a show that is a ground breaking hit. How dumb do TV execs think we are? You cannot "copy" a hit show in a few weeks time and expect it to garner the same buzz and staying power as the original.
Examples:
America's Got Talent (This is NOT American Idol.... not even close)
Show Me The Money! (Deal or No Deal, as banal as it is, is Emmy worthy compared to this)
The Benefactor (Donald Trump is a fun and whimsical caricature, Mark Cuban is just creepy)
Joe Millionaire (Evan who? Oh, and Zora looks great in her Nutri-System commercials)
You get the idea... (Oh yeah, Rob and Am-buh can just go away too.)
6. Celebrity romances, feuds and political views. No one cares. Really. NO ONE.
Thursday, April 26, 2007
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